Rule 1 : Cross his path Unexpectedly – Now according to theory, a man loves seeing a woman when he is not expecting it. So try and meet him at unexpected places, when he is least expecting you. Drop in at the cafe he visits every Tuesday, or the bar he goes every Friday, or the bowling alley he goes to every Sunday. Now of course, you will want to know how do I know when he does all this? Simple – Just stalk him. Now even if this does not land you the man, it sure can land you a restraining order and a prison sentence, but what the hell – what is love without such simple sacrifices of going to jail. Right?
Rule 2 : Repeat his name often while talking to him – So basically the more number of times you mention his name, in a sentence, more the chances of him flipping for you. For example if I meet George Clooney, this is what I will say to make him fall in love with me. “Hey George, would you George, like to have a cup of coffee with me George, or maybe George we could have dinner instead, or George is there something else you would want to do George?… What George? ..You don’t want to George?… But why George? …Oh cause I am calling your name George so many times George? But George in that magazine, George. they said more times I mention your name George, more the chances of you falling in love with me…Oh George but all I did was follow the rules George…Oh George don’t leave me George..I am not mad George…..“………….And by then sadly George is gone and chances are will never see you again
Rule 3: Whisper things in his ears– Now according to the magazine, a man gets turned on and attracted to you if you whisper things which will turn him on. The magazines go on to give examples of things you can say and one of them is “Let’s go somewhere right now, cause after 12 I turn into a vixen”. Now according to the English Dictionary, a vixen means either a fox or a woman who is quarrelsome, shrewish and generally malicious. So basically you are trying to tell the man that if he takes you somewhere he might just end up with a lady who will start fighting with him in the middle of the night, tear his hair out and generally scare the living daylights out of him. So chances are once you use this line on a man and the man has any knowledge of English he would run for his life. But then so what? You can keep trying till you find a man who does not know the language…
Rule 4: Be like him – This rule was one of the funniest I read more so for the example it gave. This was one of the exact sentences given there “Mirror neurons respond to sounds as well, so experiment with matching your cadence and tone to his. For example, if he speaks faster than you do, accelerate your tempo a bit”. Basically what its trying to tell you is say your man has a south Indian accent you imitate him and start speaking with that accent, or if he has a loud voice you start screaming with him when you out, or if he has an itch which he is scratching well you start scratching yourself too right in front of him. Now the little I understand of men I assume they will feel highly turned off and insulted if you copy them so, but then who am I to compete with such high level scientists who have expounded this theory (Yes, all these theories have bee arrives at after paying a fortune to some scientists who spend their lifetime experimenting with such things to help you land that perfect man). So go ahead and try this. What is the worst that might happen? He might leave you and never see you again? Well so what? Try till you meet a dumb-ass who will actually like this?
Rule 5 : Be yourself – Now this is the best rule of all. After you go through all the points where they have taught you that the only a way a man can love is by becoming dumb, putting on loads of make up which make you believe beauty lies in the outside, by pretending to be someone else, they finally come up with the bummer punchline – BE YOURSELF. And remember this is always the last rule they write. Its like the “terms and conditions” you read in a contest which is written in the fine print, which is always exactly the opposite of what the contest advertises. So basically after you have read all the rules and finally decided that yes you will against all your better senses become a conniving, pretentious witch , they tell you that DO NOT FOLLOW OUR RULES. At this stage you have just one thing left to do…GET UP AND SCREAM AND CHANCES ARE THAT YOU WILL DO
So here is what I say – If you need rules to make a man fall in love with you, you are actually fooling yourself if you believe, that the man will actually fall in love with you, or remain in love with you. I mean if you actually need a book, to tell you how to make a man love you, lady,you have taken the fun of falling in love and made it into a business transaction. SO REMEMBER THIS MOST IMPORTANT RULE, THIS VALENTINE’S DAY. DON’T FOLLOW ANY RULE. If the man is dumb enough NOT to fall in love with you, as you are, minus these strategies, you don’t need that man. So cut the rules, and enjoy falling in love just the way is was meant to be – PURE AND UNADULTERATED AND ABSOLUTE FUN…
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TO ALL…
I love your twist to each paragraph, it did make me smile especially how you presented a little, well actually a lot of common sense against a shed load of editorial ‘love’ garbage.
Unfortunately there are women out there that would follow those rules to the letter – no wonder men think we are all teetering on the edge of insanity.
Well are we not? Such magazines have such high sales and I cannot imagine in the name of God how women read them and worse so, follow them
And thanks for the compliment 🙂
Pure and unadulterated is the only way to love, thanks for this witty, insightful and rib-tickling post, Priya.People are scared to show their true self to the world and face rejection, hence they follow these half-baked theories blindly. Loved your input.
Sulekha chances are you show this pretentious side of you and your love anycase won’t last 🙂
I’m sorry what was wrong with those Rules?
LOL a lot I see..
Cheers A
If you ask me Alejandro, I would say everything, starting with the idea that you need to have a strategy to make a person fall in love with you 🙂
I adore every article that you write!!Iam proud of my very intelligent friend :))
Thanks sweetie…you are always kind 🙂
love you
Beg to differ from you Priyasmita,the classic rule is ‘you can’t make it,it just happens.’love to hear from somebody,who applied these rules successfully
nirupam so would I..
btw did not understand how you differed..i too agree it just happens..else these rules would have worked
am going to follow everything to the last letter – will let you know what transpires – : ) – i can bet i will meet with very little success – ha ha!!!
Please do Kriti..apparently a lot of scientists have been paid money to do the experiments which have produced these theories
Please do Kriti..apparently a lot of scientists have been paid money to do the experiments which have produced these theories 🙂
Absolutely DIVINELY funny! Unadulterated fun all the way. I will now ONLY follow these rules and if they don’t work, I’ll blame you. Because, of course, I was only being myself… The Vixen!
Nina blame it on the scientists…try the name part though..I certainly plan to try that one…and if the man leaves I swear I will sue the magazines and become rich 🙂
What a hilariously, funny post, for me anyhow. Do women actually believe that stuff? Oh, what has our younger generation come to? I guess I’m showing my age, huh? We never thought of having a strategy for getting someone to fall for you. How funny:)
Mary am not so sure but then that’s what these magazines seems to suggest that we women follow this. Else why do they print so many issues with the same crap? And on top pay those scientists money to come up with these theories 🙂
I for one do plan to try the George line when I meet Mr George Clooney 🙂
Hi ,
Nice Synopsis , but all rule fails these days , the only rule that rule is DIl ke Awaaaz (Heart Rules) ..Dil jo bole wahi karo go with it the instinct we have..its best..in Love.
Rest leave it to observer..if he/she is lucky enough .. LOL 😉 to get your glimpse.
These days? Are you trying to tell me that in any century, any year, any millennium these ideas worked? I want to meet one of these girls then
Happy Valentines Day 🙂
Wish you a very happy valentine’s day too
I mean ..since I was born ..i do not know before that 😉 LOl
Well I can assure you before you were born and after you die…never ever can these rules work…
Oops I told you via a guy point of view ..hehe
Well I am talking from a guy point of view too…if a woman tries them on a man and the man falls for her..well cheers to that man
One day is too short to get that ..its require a longer ..duration to understand..but one day fair enough to get noticed though 😉
like i said cheers to that man 🙂
I’m a test match man , trying one-day not bad 😉
good for you
Fun Fun Fun Fun Fun:))…Loved your sense of humor in this one!
thanks vani 🙂
Not went so good ..actually ..no one reached valentines day ..stage LOL
well i guess you can try the one day match then..it might work
Well this would be like quick fire round where one will end up ..in no mans land 😉
Well all the best for that and may you find a test match which runs upto eternity
yeah ..thats what I’m eying at.. nothing less than that
amen..all the best
Thanks you ! 🙂 do check out my new post on V’day 🙂
sure..once am back will check
ahem ahem back ..from where ? ..Hmm it will take time to land on earth you might be on cloud 9 I think..Fine .Ok ..time to catch-up with my sweet sleep
Gud night.
Happy V’day.
take care
Enjoy.
Bye for now.
back from my celebrations…good night
You are good..loved it..agree with it..and want more of it..you are a superb writer…
Thanks alpana. love your vote of confidence
Priya you are the coolest :)loved it, and laughed my heart out!!
thanks swati 😛
Hahahaha. LOVED your post! It has always cracked me up how dating articles list off a bunch of tecniques, personality tweaks, etc. that you should try out to attract a man… and then cancel it all out by saying “just be yourself”. 🙂
Thanks..
But then I a a mere commoner. These theories have been expounded by the great scientists who they pay tons of money, to come up with these ideas….I just wish they came up with one article which said success story…. 🙂
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