Uncle ka marathon

So you decide to run a midnight marathon. Perfect.
You decide to call your entire family (direct, extended, chacha ka bete ka biwi ka buya ka bete ko bula liya) and make this announcement, that you are a participant in tonight’s Bangaalore midnight marathon.
Exercise was a never ever heard term in your family. When your family spoke of diet, it meant today they will have 5 course meal for dinner instead of 7. And exercise? Tauba tauba. Isn’t a walk to the bathroom a lot?
So here you are, the first man in 100 years of the history of your family who will not just exercise, but will run a marathon. Family goes crazy with appreciation. Phone calls are made to that door ke mama, ki beti ki sasural who stay in America who have just woken up and having 10 pancakes each for breakfast. Everyone is just so impressed.
They ask you “But why did you not tell us before?” You say “Cause I wanted to see the surprise in your face, when I tell you this & also cause I thought one of of you would talk some sensible stuff & stop me from running a marathon suddenly, when I never exercised a day in my life. I did not want to give you that chance. The marathon is tonight and I just registered today by paying. Hence the last minute announcement”. (You knew your family was kanjoos, & moment they hear you spent money to register, they won’t even attempt to stop you).
Your mother & aunts come & apply teeka on you. Your sister ties the red dhaaga to keep you safe. You are all set. You leave your home. Reach the venue.
Marathon starts.You start running, but keep falling. You start perspiring in 5 minutes. You just don’t get it. People next to you are running so smoothly. There are even women & kids running. Actually, you did not know that Marathon takes days of preparation & running without that preparation can even turn out to be lethal. You run for about 500 meters and realise this is not for you. But here is the problem. You have just spent 10k to register for this event. No way in hell will you give up that money. Damn those organisers, they said its non-refundable.
You see an organiser at the side. He is cheering the runners & also handing over bottles of water. You go to him & tell him what happened. You can’t run cause you never fucking even walked 100 meters at a stretch. Organiser says “Stop running. Do you even know what you doing? You can die?” You look at the organiser angrily and say “Saala &*#*((#**#*#*#. I paid 10k which you won’t refund. If I can’t run, someone in my family will run or I will drag you to court & make you compensate me”. Organiser gets scared. Says “Fine.Get someone else in your family to take your place”.
You look around & see your fat family standing with the crowd, cheering you, and absolutely clueless as to what is happening. Your sister is there too, with her 1 year old son. Cute chap. People already in love with him. And fellow runs around all day. Like literally, he wakes up & is running around. Also wherever he goes, people tell your sister “OMG. You have such a cute son. He is a winner” Then it strikes you, “Hey why not my 1 year old nephew? He loves running. Fellow stays awake at night just to disturb his parents. So he is perfect”.
You go to your sister and tell her your plan. She looks at you and says “But bhaiyya, if he loses, people will call him a loser & its unfair. He has just started walking & you expect him to run a marathon” You look at your sister and say “But behna, what if he wins” (Thank god though you never read a book in your life, Pinterest had always shown you those snippets of dialogues from good books like Alice in Wonderland). Your sister gives you the baby.
You go back to the organiser. Give him the baby & say “now he will run in my place”. Organiser gives you an incredulous look, but remembers your threat to sue him, and relents.
Now the baby has started the marathon.What happens next? ……… Wait till next episode.
PS: Also remember the baby wasn’t the original participant & the onus of victory/loss is not remotely on him. He has stepped in to help his uncle
Any resemblance to any incident happening in the country, is purely coincidental
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