Dear Mr Chopra/ Mr Hirani/ Mr Khan,
I saw your press conference last evening and I felt that the 3 of you deserved awards for being the real 3 idiots.
I am sure you would like to know why I feel so and hence the explanation below:
1. Mr Chopra you asked a poor journalist to shut up cause he had not read the book, and had no right to comment. I completely agree. But then why did Mr Aamir Khan comment when by his own admissions, he has not read the book. So do enlighten me Mr Chopra why did you not tell Mr Khan to shut up or even use him as your star witness? Or are you the first idiot among the 3 idiots…cause by your own admission your witness has no clue about the case and yet came to testify. Pretty idiotic, won’t you say? So I hereby nominate you as Idiot 1 of the 3 idiots.
2. Mr Khan, according to you, Mr Bhagat had told you that the book and script was not similar. Strangely Mr Bhagat claims he had not read the script and even if he had, how do you know that it was not changed in between? Can you deny that it does not happen? Or did you ask Mr Bhagat as to wherein lies the difference? And since you are such a thinking man or intelligent man as you give us to believe, should you not have read the book before you jumped into the defence? And imagining that Mr Bhagat is lying comletely should you not have first read the book to verify the claim you made as you know verbal talks have no basis in such arguments. Don’t you think you behaved like the lawyer who went to fight a case without knowing what the evidences were? And since you had no clue about the evidences should we not as judges (the entire audience is a judge in this case) not throw you off the case, for wasting valuable time of the court? You seem to me to be the 2nd Idiot in the story of the 3 idiots who came to testify and fight a case without knowing what the evidences were or for that matter. So without any doubt the award for the 2nd idiot goes to you Mr Khan. I know how much you hate awards but am sure you would accept this graciously.
3. Mr Hirani – I am planning to make a movie on Munnabhai. The story will be mine, the plot will be mine, etc etc. There will be a 5% similarity to your original story that the character will be Munnabhai and Circuit and the 2 actors who acted will be same. I plan to give you no credit for the same except write your name and say loosely inspired by you guys. Actually you guys gave me an idea. I will have Munnabhai fighting people like you who refuse to give credit to others when due. So let me change the inspiration to 10% but that’s it. Please do not ask for more, please, please, please. Ok 11.3% but that’s it. Not a percentage more. Why that number? Cause I felt so. Or do you have a maths to calculate the percentage of inspiration? Am sure you do, after all you guys quite convincingly spoke of the percentage of inspiration. So if you could kindly send me the maths behind the calculation, it would help me come up with an exact value? I mean how did you come up with 3 to 5%? I just want to be sure I have the maths correct, so that tomorrow when you say the same thing I will have my facts correct. Sounds pretty idiotic, right? And if you cry hoarse after it becomes famous, I will accuse the same things you accused Mr Bhagat for. Hope thats ok with you. No? Weird Mr Hirani, it seemed ok when it was Mr Bhagat at the receiving end? Or do you now feel in the hindsight, it was an idiotic thing to do and say? Well whether you feel so or not, I feel so and hereby award you the 3rd idiot in this entire 3 idiot fiasco. . After all the decision of awards depends on the jury / judge and not on the recipient.
In the end of this controversy I have just one thing to say to all the 3 of you. All 3 of you are the 3 IDIOTS INDEED. Am sorry for my language and please do not drag me to court (if you do I will say you doing all this for publicity 🙂 ) But seriously do you think if people are finding it similar, audiences are going to find your crying yourself hoarse claiming otherwise more idiotic? And commercially speaking, I say you guys and specially you Mr Hirani and Mr Khan dipped your brandequity a lot cause what you did went against what you guys have always stood for. And I think commercially that would make a lot more difference, specially to you Mr Khan than had you convinced Mr Hirani and Mr Chopra to give credit where its due. And God forbid you go to a court, and it turns out by the same mathematical tools you used that Mr Bhagat was right, it would be even more idiotic, right? Anyway that’s your call.
Before I end, I want you to accept the awards I just gave out. Also I would be awaiting your humble acceptance speech on getting the awards and congratulations to the 3 of you once again. You guys have beat millions of Idiots to win this coveted title. Be Proud of it
PS : I would like to point out that I do not exactly feel that Mr Bhagat was not taking advantage of it being a hit film. Maybe he did sell the movie rights and was not smart enough to say, this is the credit I need. And now that the film is a hit he regrets it and that is what his blog says, without mentioning what rights he had in his contract. Fair enough. My reason for nominating the above 3 are only cause they were full of crap. Had they made one logical point like I am sorry I bought the rights and this is what the contract said, I would have admired them. But instead they were full of gas and the idiotic moral high ground which made me nominate and award them.